Friday, August 24, 2007

Was it George & Martha, a drunk, or...?

Well, I did it tonight on the way home. First, you have to have the picture. I live around a lake. Now, if you don't know lakes, you might get a good idea with a winding mountain road...just without the hills. I haven't seen so many squiggly road signs since I moved away from northern California coastlines. The speed limit ranges from 35-50. There is one hairpin turn that is posted at 20. So, you have the picture, right?

I got the first inkling that it would be a slow ride around the lake when we pulled off the highway. There is construction going on and it is posted 45. Well, this Toyota Corolla two cars in front of me slows down well before the 45 mph sign to 35. "OK," I thought, "we have George and Martha heading home after an early dinner." It was, after all, still light. However, as we took the offramp, a slow curve to the left, this Toyota starts weaving in the lane and slowing down. By the time we were hitting the 50 mph straight away it was going about 25 mph. There are absolutely no places to pass on this ten-mile stretch. The red cloth top guns it and crosses the double line to go around. A few minutes later, just before the first real curve the next car, an SUV, does the same. I am now behind the Toyota. It slows even more. I'm starting to think it's going to turn into the Country Club. But no, it continues on.

Going around the lake there were times when the Toyota slowed to less than 20 mph and was all over the lane. I really thought I had a drunk in front of me. Come on, more than 10 miles below the posteds and all over the lanes. After all, it was Friday night, after work, time enough to get royally inebriated. And it is the weekend before Labor Day. Then there was the conga line of cars behind me. I could just see one of them trying to pull a passing trick. There are no passing lanes. All the way from the highway to the town it is a double line...no passing. This could be dangerous.

So, I did what any responsible driver should do; I whipped out my trusty cell phone and called 911. I described the situation and the woman on the other end told me that when we approached the intersection of two county roads to flash my lights. An officer would be waiting there. That would alert him that this was the call he got. As we approached the stop light at the intersection I put on my flashers and let the patrol car pull out in front of me. Now, by this time we are on a straight stretch and the driver was pretty much holding it on a straight line and the speed limit through there is only 30 mph. But, I guess the officer saw enough he pulled over the car. I had been instructed to stop after he had made the stop.

The officer was smiling as he came back to my car. He got my full name, address, and phone and asked me just how bad it got out there. I told him about the swerving and slow speeds and the two cars that passed the Toyota. He did thank me for calling and then told me it was a learner. I saw the permit, not long enough to see the name, but to see it was a permit and he did tell me there was another person in the car instructing her. He did say that if she was that timid driving he would make the other person in the car drive home.

Oh, my Gawd! I do remember driving that badly. But Dad took me out on a stretch of highway that was virtually deserted. There were no other cars for miles. The curves were smooth and there was plenty of room if someone came up behind me they could pass. The two worst classes of drivers, besides drunks, have got to be learners and the George and Martha set. No wonder insurance rates for these two groups are so high. (Which reminds me I have to do the Senior Citizens driving course to get the rates down more.) I have already threatened the kids they have got to wrestle the driver's license from my clenched fist if I ever get so bad I'm a menace. I hope I'm like Aunt Bessie was; driving with the best of them on the LA freeways at 80. But if I'm not, get me off the road!

I guess I scared the daylights out of a new driver. Imagine with your learner's permit and being pulled over. But I'm not ashamed I did it. Maybe she (and her instructor) learned a lesson. Maybe they should get out of the metro area and look for some straighter roads until she gets over being so timid. Let's hope she's not planning on driving to school next week.


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